Feeling Guilt, Even Though I Know I Am Forgiven!!!

I learned something very important this past couple of days. As I encouraged you to read the book, The Shack, I want to say what it has done for me. I know that I am saved, and I know that I have been forgiven my sins, and I also know Jesus loves me, and the Holy Spirit is with me to guide me and comfort me. I know God created me for a purpose, out of love for me. I know if I died today I would go to Heaven to live eternally with God the Father, and Jesus the Son. I would be reunited with loved ones who have already gone to be with the Lord. Gods' word is true, all of it. You do not need to add to the Bible, and please do not take anything away from it. As humans we do not fully understand everything he tells us, or why bad things happen to his children. I just know I had some guilt from past sins that were keeping me from having the closeness to God I so desired. God forgave me of these sins when I repented of them, and ask him to forgive me, but I had never forgiven myself, or learned to get past the guilt I held deep inside of me. In the book, which is fiction, but reads like a wonderful, but sad true story, I saw God, my Father, and Jesus, my Lord and Savior, along with the Holy Spirit, my guide and comforter as 3 different, but the same being. In my imagination I do not think I could have come up with spending time with them as the writer of this story did, but I liked it. It made me smile. It made me see as so long my Lord has wanted me to see, that he is truly my best friend, and as one of his children, a born again saint, I have his love inside me. I have the ability inside me to love as he guides me too. I also may never forget the things that I did that have caused me so much shame, but I do not have to allow the sins that he died for me on that cross, and forgave me of them destroy the person he so wants me to be. I feel free this morning. I feel alive and free of the pain deep inside that kept me burdened down. I feel the Holy Spirit surrounding me with peace, and the love of God the Father, and Jesus the Son flowing through my heart and mind. For once they are in harmony, you know the thoughts in my mind and the feelings in my heart. I know I have to guard my heart, and my mind. I can do that by reading the Bible, Gods word, and praying to God. I love to write letters to God. I usually begin my prayers with Dear Jesus. Journeling my prayers has been the best thing for me, as I am a person who is easily distracted, and I can stay more focused on what I am talking to my Lord about this way. This is the day he has given me to live, just as it is the day he has given you, I pray we both can use it to further his kingdom, and follow his guidance to accomplish what he wants us to. Thank you Lord for this day, and I pray that your love shines through me for others to see.

Please Read!!!!!!!!!1

This is going to be short and sweet, I just finished reading the book, THE SHACK, written by Wm. Paul Young, I started this last night, and did not want to put it down to sleep. I finished it today, and I want to read it again. This story is sad, amazing, funny, and so much more. The words will change u, I promise. Read it as soon as you can!!!

Living With Pain!!

I have never spoken much on here about my Fibromyalgia. Some people do not even believe it is a real disorder, but I am here to tell you it is a real disorder with real pain, and problems. I had gone for years prior to 1995 wondering why I hurt all over all the time. The last thing that happened before we decided someone had to tell us something was me not being able to move enough to get off the potty without David helping. It was like my muscles had frozen and the pain was so horrible I just wanted to sit there and die. I would ask David at night to rub my thighs, the muscles hurt so bad, with touch it was worse, but with deep massage it seemed to help for a few minutes. I had no energy, and wanted to just lie around all the time. At that time I thought it was my weight, but I was soon to find out that people of all shapes and sizes were effected with Fibro. The reason I am bringing this up now is today I am hurting all over as if someone has run over me with a semi-truck. It feels as if my entire body is in a vise being pressured to the point it wants to explode. For quite a while I was in remission as they call it, but for the past several weeks it has been really hard to function again. Right after I saw the first Dr. who diagnosed my problem I felt relieved but so scared. I did not know much about this, and I did not know if I would continue to get worse. I attended a seminar about it in Jackson. I had meet a couple of people who had Fibro, and one was our friend and a an evangelist. He knew it was unusual for men to have it, and was having the same thoughts I was. When we got to the seminar I saw women my size, much smaller, and even women of normal size in wheel chairs. That frightened me even more at the time. I decided to see another Dr. in Jackson and he began the process of really helping me learn to live with, and deal with this disorder. I had a really horrible time sleeping which adds to the pain of Fibro. I would lay there awake for days. Wanting to sleep, begging to sleep, but nothing but awake and frightened. This Dr. started me on some meds and helped me to realize that there are going to be times in my life that I just have to say no, no to things I know will cause the pain to get worse, or appear again. It is hard to do at times, because after losing the weight I feel that I can do anything again, but I really can't. He taught me when I travel to stop and walk around every couple of hrs, which helps with the stiffness. He taught me not to read something stimulating, or watching a movie that makes me more anxious at night. I also have learned that I can feel myself tense up, and I know when I need to take a deep breathe and relax. There are days that I still want to sleep all day. There are times it hurts even for my little Yorkie to get in my lap, but I have learned to adapt to the pain, and make sure I always get my rest. I am saddened to know several friends who have been diagnosed with Fibro over the past few years. One of them lost a good job, and spent over a year just lying on her couch. It takes a good support system, by that I mean friends who understand and most of all family that does, especially your spouse. David has been so good to support me, and he knows now when things are tough for me. He doesn't push me or act like nothing is wrong. He will go out of his way to offer his help at those times. When you wake up, or can not sleep, and I am talking to my friends who have this, do not feel guilty as I did, just listen to your body, and remember exercise hurts at first, but it will help if you continue to do it. Also remember that God loves you, he will help you get through this attacks, and he really listens when I tell him how bad I feel. I ask his blessings on all of you!

The Sign Of Spring!

The daffodils have started to bloom! That is such a good sign here in the South. I love seeing the bright yellow flowers, and then all of a sudden here comes the tulips, with shades of pink, red, yellow, and purple. I was out today cleaning one of my flower beds out, as a lot of people here were doing. The sun was shining bright with that true blue sky, and temperatures in the low 70's. That is a perfect day here to me! I always want to get started and put some flowers out, along with some green plants, but my Daddy always told me to wait till Good Friday. Easter comes on April 11th this year, well I think it does. Everything will be in full bloom by then, which makes Easter even more beautiful. I always see Easter as a new beginning. It is the reason I had a new beginning in my life many years ago. It is when we celebrate the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. I have experienced a renewal in my walk with Jesus. I have learned that he is always working on me to make me a better person in him. When life sent some really tough times for members of my family, I knew I could not make it without his love and strength. The sad thing is I should stay this close to him always. As Spring approaches and the new growth in nature comes forth, I pray all can have a Spring in their spiritual life. A growth period, a time of renewal, a new beginning with Jesus as Lord of your life, that is what all of us need from time to time to face the obstacles in this world. There are a lot of children that I know of that are suffering physically. I ask that when you read this, lift up the little children to God. They need to enjoy the Spring that is on the way too.

Do You Ever Long To Go To Heaven?

As Christians we must all long to go be with Jesus at sometime. When I look around and hear of so many people suffering from cancer, and other illness, I want Jesus to come soon and take all of his people home. That is very selfish of me, because there are a lot of people who are lost in this world, and are going to die and go to hell if we as Christians do not tell them about Jesus. I have good friends who are getting prepared to go overseas to tell people of the love and saving mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ. Our pastor just came back from a mission trip where he said hindu priest are actually coming to know Jesus as their personal Savior. He told us about people weeping for others to be saved. How long has it been since you or I have done that? All of us get caught up in our own lives and forget what Jesus told us to do, and that is to tell others about his love. I miss my Mom and Dad every day, and I know they are in Heaven. The excitement of seeing them and other relatives and friends again makes me long for Heaven. I forget that it is not about me, or you actually. It is all about Jesus, and how he gave his life for us. It is about how he conquered death by rising again on that third day. It is about him suffering for my sins and yours on that cross. When we do go to Heaven one day it will not be about us being reunited with our love ones, it will be about us worshiping Jesus, and praising him for what he has done for us. The biggest problem with the world is everyone, including Christians, are more concerned about ourselves instead of others. I am ashamed to say that when I am tired, hurting, whether physically or mentally, I think about Jesus coming back for us because I am being selfish. As I was going to Church tonight I know for a fact there are people right there in that little town who are lost and do not have the peace of God in their lives. How can I sit here and long for a place where there will be no tears, no pain, only joy with Jesus when people, and relatives of mine are lost and if they die tonight would face eternity in hell?God forgive me for being selfish. Lord give me guidance to tell others how to be saved, how to have eternal life with you in Heaven. Lord guide me to tell them of your amazing love, and the peace they can have in their hearts even in this time of turmoil. I pray that you will put me in the right place at the right time to be a witness for you to a relative of mine that I am very concerned about. When we are missing our loved ones, and longing for Heaven with Jesus, I pray all of us will put self away, and allow Jesus to use us for the purpose he has called us for. That is to spread the news of Jesus, the wonderful love, and saving grace of Jesus. As Christians help us Lord to bear the burdens of this world with your strength through prayer, and reading your word. Let's not be selfish, let us all be busy for Jesus!

Not Feeling Secure!

I had joined facebook a few weeks ago, and was enjoying seeing what friends were doing in their everyday life. I had also connected with some friends I had not spoken to or been in touch with in a long time. My youngest son had told me he didn't feel good about this, but I felt it was OK. All was going good until this morning. I got a friend request from someone I did not know, and to be honest he was a very scary looking man. I thought all of this was private to only the people I had ask to be my friend, or they had ask me, but when you take the little quiz, or join a group on there,then your profile is opened for everyone to see. I was surprised when I received the invitation from this person. He said our name was rare and we might be related. I hit the icon ignore, but a few minutes later the request came again, this happened 3 times. My oldest grand-daughter had been asking her Mom and Dad if she could have facebook, because so many of her friends had it. Her Mom and Dad did not allow her to have one, which at first I did not understand, but when I look at what happened this morning, I am sure I see why they were so opposed to her having the facebook. I am not sure she would have not allowed this man to join her facebook, as he was saying he thought we might be related. A 12 year old does not see the danger that I was reminded of this morning. When you have face book, you use your real name, and a lot of personal information is revealed on your profile. You really think all is OK because you know the people you are friends with, but are we ever truly safe online? Just this morning I saw on the news about a 16 year old girl who had befriended a man in Puerto Rico by means of her xbox. Seems you can play against others from everywhere on this game box.She believed everything this man had told her, and at 16 bought an airline ticket and is there now. Her parents were leaving today to go get her. Are parents aware of this? I know the internet has some wonderful features. I know you can gain lots of information that was very hard to obtain years ago, but I also see a danger, a real danger to young people who are not monitored. I also see a danger for lonely people who just want someone to talk to. You know there was a time when I was not reaching out to God for comfort in the problems of this world. I was looking for someone to talk to. I am so thankful that God reminded me through the Holy Spirit talking to me, that he is always there for me. He never leaves me, all I have to do is just open his word, read, and pray. I write in this journal but I only allow the people I have invited to have access to read it. I try to never put real personal information in here, and especially my name or exactly where I live. I just want to caution all of you who know me and read this, be careful online. If you have children please monitor their accounts online, and make sure they are not talking in chats, or in instant messages to people they may not know. Unfortunately our world is full of people who hurt the innocent, and our children are the most vulnerable of all. God bless all of you!

Road Kill In Mississippi

OK, I guess you are wondering why I have chosen to write about road kill. Well, the other day I was going down the road and I saw a dead possum on the road, the funny thing was this possum was smiling at me. It was so flat that it looked like it had a grin all across its head, and its eyes were wide open.I laughed so hard I could not stop. Yes this is a little gross, but when you live in Mississippi road kill is an everyday thing. I do not ever remember running over anything myself, but I have seen raccoons, possums,rabbits, squirrels, deer of course,skunks, coyotes, fox, armadillos, and birds of all kinds. I happen to be a person who loves animals but have you ever seen a coyote close up? They are a very scary looking animal. Huge teeth, and real long noses, even though the rest of the body looks more like just a dog. Some people from other states seem to think people from Mississippi actually eat all of this stuff. I for one do not!!! I try to avoid contact with any part of the Road Kill if possible. I mean sometimes you have no choice but to let your tire touch some of it. I hate seeing most of the Road Kill in Mississippi, but some it's OK by me. You know like the skunks, and coyotes. If you live in another state and would like to see more Road Kill, just send a stamped addressed envelope to anywhere in rural Mississippi, and we will be glad to help you out!!