I could not sleep this morning.I know this has happened to me lots in my adult life. Dr. Charles Stanley wrote a book about "Finding Peace". I opened it up this morning and the words just slapped me in the face. Is this me? A self-centered person is a person who thinks, my needs, my wants, and my ideas must be met, enacted, and fulfilled. Such a person tends to talk nonstop about themselves. Am I insensitive to others, and a manipulator of people and situations? I have felt very much alone since a good friend of mine, or I thought she was stopped having anything to do with me over a year ago. Did I drive her away from my selfishness? My heart is heavy, Lord I want to serve you, and be generous in giving my time to others. I know life is not all about me, it is about what I can do for others, it is about what pleases Christ. Are you speaking to me this morning Lord? How, and where do I begin to give more of myself to further your work Lord Jesus? I want to do what Jesus would do, I search for ways oh Lord to fulfill this in my life. God send me your word, show me where to work for you. Show me where I can give to others, not only spiritually, but emotionally, and materially. I sit and study your word Lord, but I am not putting into practice what you are teaching me. I ask you to show me what to do. I want to please you Lord, and God help me to find ways to do that for others, not for my self satisfaction. Thank you Lord for waking me this morning, and laying this on my heart. Guide me God, to work for others, not for myself. This is my prayer this morning Lord. May the work I do today be pleasing to you, and helpful to others. Amen

Prayer Request!

A friend of mine has been battling cancer since 1995, and she is very much on my mind this afternoon. Camie found out she had an inoperable cancer, and thus began her quest to live. She had chemo and was very sick the first time she had it, lost her hair as most everyone does, but had faith in God that she would live to see Hailey, her daughter grow up. She never once let go of her strong faith in God, and Hailey is in college now. I am praying that Camie's faith in God is stronger today than ever. She was taking a treatment yesterday afternoon, and her numbers were very high. I can not imagine the struggle this has been for Camie, and her family. I just know I have learned a lot watching her. All this time she has continued to teach school, work with Relay for Life-to raise money for cancer research, and when ever I have seen her, she has that beautiful smile on her face. I know her faith in God has inspired many as it has me. When trails have come my way, and they were nothing compared to her struggle with cancer, I have thought of her and could not have a pity party as we say. Camie, you fight with God , you fight with your strong faith in God, and know all your friends and family are praying for you. We know the power of faith and prayer, we have seen it in your life. I know you will continue to be strong and show others your amazing faith in God. May we all have the faith you have had! Hugsssssss for my sweet friend Camie. I ask all who read this to whisper a prayer for her, she is quite a special lady.

A Great Devotion!!!

http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot

I was reading from this site this morning, and God spoke to me about many things. How close to the edge of the cliff do you get? Meaning that I need to stay close to God, then I am not tempted to sin. That hit home with me, made me realize how close to the edge I had gotten in the past. The Bible tells me if I am faithful to confess my sins, God will forgive them, and restore me, in other words he wipes the slate clean, gives me and you a fresh start as Christians. Today I choose to begin with a clean slate, my sins confessed, and forgiven. Like I was reading last night, God forgives, and the sins are wiped away, sometimes friends never forget our mistakes, and we don't either. Thank God for loving us enough to restore us, and if we keep close to God, we will not be tempted to sin again. We can, I can , as a Christian live for Jesus. I choose Jesus way, what will you chose today?????

Pain!

There is one thing in my life that seems to rob my joy way too often, and that is the pain of Fibromyalgia.Fibromyalgia (FM) is a disorder classified by the presence of chronic widespread pain and a heightened and painful response to gentle touch. I have had this since 1995, and for the most it has been in remission for quite some time. Right now it is not. The pain is widespread and you never know where you will hurt, or how long. I feel just like I have been in a car wreck this morning or that I have taken a bad fall. There is nowhere on my body that does not hurt. It robs me of my energy, and that causes everyone in my home to suffer, because they depend on me for many things. Through out the years when my Fibro used to be bad everyday, I have prayed to die. I am thankful that God did not answer that prayer because I have been blessed with so much. I ask God to help me deal with this pain this morning, to find the blessing in it, and to take it away according to his will for my life. I do not know if anyone reads this blog besides a few friends, but if anyone does and they suffer with Fibro, I send up a prayer for you today. Hang in there, it does get better at times.

Christmas Day Was Awesome!

For the first time since Daddy died, I enjoyed my Christmas day. Scotty, who works offshore was home, and this was the first time for him since the last Christmas with Daddy. I think that made all the difference for me. I had forgotten what it was like to have my kids here on Christmas Day. All day Christmas Eve I had baked and cooked, really loving every minute I spent in the kitchen, listening to Christmas songs as I made things for my family and friends. I made some fudge, turtle cookie bars, chocolate chip cookies, s'more cookies and a wonderful Birthday cake for Jesus birthday, and oh yeah, David's favorite rice krispie treats.Early Christmas morning I got up and made blueberry muffins, and sausage muffins for my family. I always do this, and take them over to the girls when I go to see what Santa brought them. Scotty was thrilled as he had not experienced this, since before Daddy died we always had Christmas breakfast at my house. Walking up the road to their house I realized how blessed I am to be so close to 2 of my grandchildren. I know all across this world there are people who do not see their families at Christmas. Toby was back at the house preparing to go pick up Aubrie for Christmas, and also to spend a week here with us. That is truly a blessing also. The girls were excited as they showed me each thing Santa had left for them, plus were anxiously waiting to get into the food I brought them. After spending a few minutes with them David and I walked hand in hand back home to prepare for everyone to come over for lunch. My heart gets all filled up with I think about the love I feel for each member of my beautiful family. I was thrilled that my Uncle Lamar and Carolyn were coming for the day too. As I write this I am reminded of the joy it was to go to the church on Christmas Eve for the Lord's supper. There was a wonderful sense of peace and God's presence in the church. Bro. Joey, and Pam sang, "Mary Did You Know" which is one of the most beautiful Christmas songs. Then Bro. Tony and the Deacons prepared the Lord's supper for us. I sat there looking at my Uncle Lamar sitting in front of me, and tears began to fall from my eyes. He is 77 or 78, I am not sure which, but this was his first Lord's supper to participate in. He was saved a few months ago. I could just feel the wonderful presence of Jesus in that sanctuary, and smile but cry when I thought of all the prayers I had seen and heard my Daddy send up for him. I know when he was in our home on Christmas day, you can see and hear the difference in his life that God has made. As the prayers were given to the Lord in the church, and we took the Lord's supper I could see Jesus on the cross, his body broken and blood poured our for my own sins. The tears flowed more, but with a thankfulness to my Lord for dying for me and allowing me to be able to be part of that service on Christmas Eve. I left there renewed in the Holy Spirit, and rejoicing in Jesus. Well, now I will get back to my Christmas day! I love Christmas! I light all the candle in my house, got out my Christmas dishes, and washed the Christmas glasses, preparing for my family to enjoy this time together. I laugh when I think back to when it was just David, the boys, and me. They were not as thrilled as I to eat on those Christmas dishes, but since I have girls as part of my family now, everyone loves it. We all gathered round, and I got the family Bible and read from Luke the Christmas story of Jesus birth. This was something Daddy always did, and I really was honored to do it. Then Scotty said a prayer of thanksgiving for us all. After we all had eaten, and the girls had opened their gifts with excitement and little screams, we gathered round once again to sing happy birthday to our Lord Jesus, and cut the cake. I wish all could have seen their eyes as one layer was red, and the other green. I am so thankful for the way my girls are learning about Jesus, even the 2 year old who ask for her Daddy to read her Bible to her each night at bedtime. I had given all three of the girls new Bibles for Christmas, appropriate for their ages. I loved how excited they all were to get them. As things began to quieten down and I had the time to just sit and watch as each one of my family talked, laughed and played together, I felt a tear in my eye. It was a tear of happiness, joy, and such thankfulness for being so blessed with this family. I could see joy in my step-mother's face for the first time in a long time. I saw no pain in Keely's face because God is healing her foot, and I saw amazing love in each of my boy's faces for their children. I am smiling here. because this is what Jesus wanted, for us to celebrate his birthday with what he is, and that is LOVE. I pray the peace of love as know only through Jesus is felt in your homes each day throughout the new year. This is my prayer for myself, and all.

Just Some Thoughts!!!

Sitting here thinking about the week with Keely in the hospital, I can thank God for keeping her safe. Seeing her in pain was so hard for all of us. So many times I wish I could take the pain I see my family go through, especially my Grandchildren. Last Christmas when Aubrie had the bad reaction to the medicine she was so miserable, and I wanted so bad to take that from her. I know taking Keely to Birmingham tomorrow is the best thing. I just wish I could take the pain for her. You know, I know my parents felt the same for me. I knew my Grandmother Pulley pretty good, but I don't remember much about her. Just her long grey hair, and how she always wore an apron over her dress. I am built a lot like her, I do remember she was a big built woman like me. In fact I called her Big Mamaw and my mom's mother I called Little Mamaw. She was a short lady like her daughter, my mom. I didn't spend much time with my Mom's mother, but I do remember playing the piano for her, and we would sing together. I love music so much, especially Christmas music, and songs about Jesus. When I was young the small town I lived in had this huge cedar tree growing in front of the old hotel, which they put lights all over every year, also there was a big wooden Santa with sleigh and the reindeer, including Rudolph. I think the coke company had put it up. I would walk around that Santa display and the tree singing Christmas songs every afternoon. Christmas has always been my favorite time. I really love it so much. The lights, all the colors of Christmas, the music, and celebrating Jesus birthday. The excitement on the kids faces make me smile to think about it. I just read the book, "The Purpose of Christmas", and it was a really good book. Rick Warren wrote it and he said there was 3 purposes of Christmas. The first is a time of Celebration, second- a time of Reconciliation, and last, but to me the most important- a time of Salvation. People everywhere need to think about all of them. Celebrate Christmas with family and remember that it is Jesus birthday which is the most important part of the celebration. Reconciliation, do you need to make amends with anyone? Family or friends? God? Christmas is a perfect time to reconcile with God first, his forgiveness is guaranteed. Then maybe you need to forgive someone, or ask them to forgive you. Life is much better with no conflicts in your family or with friends. I pray they will find it in their hearts to forgive you, and that you will them this Christmas. I had a friend who chose to not have anything to do with me anymore, and I am praying God will help me find a way to reconcile with her. Salvation is the most important purpose of Christmas. If you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, then you will do the other two purposes for sure. I pray all who read this will find the purpose of Christmas in their heart. I pray that each of you will have a Merry Christmas with Jesus as your purpose! I know when I write I go from one topic to another, but that is my rambling brain. It is overloaded most of the times, but empty at others. So forgive me for that. Laughing here!!

A True Christmas!

Tonight at church the choir did their Christmas music, and it was just wonderful! The name of the story they told in music was "The Heart of Christmas."
Have you ever thought about the heart of things, what makes things real? Our heart beats which keeps our bodies working, and us alive. Our hearts can hurt when someone has disappointed us, or hurt us in some way. The heart of the home has been called the kitchen, where meals are prepared with love. Love is the heart of everything in our life, and God is love. That is the essence of God, that is who he is, and who he was when he came to earth that first Christmas. The music talked about how scared Mary must have been when she realized she was going to be the Mother of Jesus. She was engaged to be married, and a virgin. The miracle of Jesus' birth is why we have salvation through him. He was not born of sin. He was and is the only perfect person to ever be born. The important thing is that Jesus came to give us his heart, which is love. How would you describe love? I know how I feel about my family, I know how I hurt when they do. I know how much I love Jesus, and he is the true Christmas. I have been reading the book, "The Purpose of Christmas' written by Rick Warren who wrote another book " The Purpose Driven Life". He gave 3 purposes of Christmas, the first being a time of celebration. How and what will you celebrate at Christmas this year? My family will all be here Christmas day at noon. Yes, the grandchildren have gifts to open, and Santa will come to their house on Christmas eve. We will share memories of past Christmas days, and also eat lots of good food. Every year before we ate and opened presents my Daddy would always read the Christmas story from the Bible, and pray. Since Daddy has gone on the Heaven I have been reading the story, and leading the prayer. It is an honor to follow in his footsteps and share the joy of Jesus birth with my grandchildren. This year I am planning to bake a birthday cake for Jesus which will be a surprise on the inside for the kids. One layer will be red and one will be green, this was something Mommy did when we were little, and I did it some for my kids when they were growing up. I want to make this a true Christmas at my home, by taking time to really think about Jesus, and how he came, grew up, and died on that cross for me, and everyone. I could never repay him for the debt he payed for me, I was so lost in my sins. My heart beats faster and I get a huge lump in my throat when I think about how lost I was, and how he has forgiven me, and given me such joy in my life. I do not have any idea where I would be without Jesus. I wish for everyone to experience a true Christmas, which to me can only happen if you have Jesus Christ in your heart as your Lord and Saviour. That is what Christmas is all about. I admit I love all the decorations, and all the fun watching the kids open presents, but I want them to see it as Jesus sharing his birthday with them. The second purpose of Christmas is a time of reconciliation. I think God gives us this time to be at peace with him, and with everyone in our life. Do you have someone you need to forgive or ask them to forgive you? I think we all probably do. I want to make sure I am where I need to always be with my Jesus, and through his love I can forgive and ask for forgiveness of others. If Jesus can forgive me of all my horrible sins, can I not forgive anyone who has hurt or wronged me? I think there is no doubt that I should and can. The third purpose I have covered already,but it is a time for salvation. Jesus came to give us life, and to give us an abundant life, that is what his word tells us. That abundant life means eternal life, Jesus conquered death when he died on that cross, and rose from the dead 3 days later. You do not have to fear death if you are a Christian. He tells us to be absent from the body is to be present with him. I cannot in my mind imagine the peace and love that I will feel when I kneel before Jesus. It makes my heart feel all full when I think about it. Not only will I see Jesus, but I will be able to be with family members who have already gone to Heaven. I get all excited when I think about singing praises to Jesus with my Mommy and Daddy again. Christmas, what will be your true Christmas? Christ is the first part of the word Christmas and makes up most of the word, plus he is the reason we even exist. How can we not honor him on his birthday. I just wanted to share my thoughts on how to make this a true Christmas for everyone. Remember that love is the heart of everything, and Jesus is love! If you put him first not only at Christmas but everyday of the year you will feel love and every day will be like a true Christmas.

State Championship!

Last night David and I sat here and watched the State Championship football game class 5A, between Meridian Wildcats, and the South Panola Tigers. I have not been that excited about a football game in a long, long time. Meridian won it, in overtime 26 to 20! My boys both went to Meridian, and so did David. Scotty started playing football in the 8th grade, and broke his arm in practice one day. I will never forget the feeling I had when the coach called and said they were taking him to the ER. That would be the first of many injuries over the next 4 years. Scotty was a good player, he played defensive lineman, and center for the extra point kicker. He sacked many quarterbacks over those years, and I remember my friend Wayne would say, "Who's boy was that?", and I would yell mine! We had many good times at the football games. There was a group of us who meet on the bleachers an hour before the game, and we had kind of a tail gate party there. I would cook sloppy joes and everyone would bring some kind of chips to go with them. In Scotty's first year of football in high school they won the State Championship, which was in 1990, and that last time before last night that Meridian had won it. That was the most exciting game I had ever been to. It was a very cold night in December as last night was for the game. We were as bundled up as we could be, and I remember a dear friend Terry Auton who has gone on to be with the Lord always helped me up and down the steps on the bleachers. He was quite a remarkable man! Amy his daughter, who is 27 now, had cut lots of confetti for the victory. I think everyone on our side of the stadium went to the field after we won. I remember they interviewed Scotty on television, and I was so proud. For this to be his Freshman year in high school and to be able to play the entire game, he was more than a little happy. Last night as we watched Meridian do it again, it brought back such memories of all the Friday nights at Ray Stadium watching our son play football. One Friday night in Louisville Scotty was down, and not getting up. David said you stay here and I will go and check on him. Well, before David got to the field I was down there on the sideline when they brought him off on the cart. He was ok, but as his Mother there was no way I was staying put. I was not a good sideline Mom for sure. Scotty went on to get a scholarship to EMCC, where he played a little football, but decided college was not for him. That was ok, he meet a great young lady, married her, and works for Rowan oil now, and is a very happy man. He still has some problems with his shoulders, and his knees from old football injuries, but I think most who played do. We yelled and cheered Meridian on from the comfort of our warm living room, not sitting in the cold as we did 18 years ago. It is different when it's not your son out there playing. I never did learn completely about football, but I did learn a few things. I knew what Scotty was supposed to do, and I knew when we made a touchdown. In Meridian every time a touchdown is made they shot the cannon off, well David and I would always smile at each other, and give a little kiss. It makes me smile to think of all the fun we had. Life changes, kids grow up, you get older, but when we attended a game this year, we still looked at each other, smiled, and kissed after every touchdown. Somethings you never want to change!

When In Need!

We have a problem that requires money! Wow, is that new to anyone? We all run into things that we have not prepared for, which is what has happened here in my home. I would call it just not thinking, or not preparing for things that could happen, just plain stupid, or as I told David once when he said I am stupid, " No, your just a little dumb!" I wonder how many middle income people do save money as they should for emergencies, I know we don't. I like to spend it too much! Which now I wish I had not. I just read an email from a friend, and this is what was said, " THANK GOD FOR WHAT YOU HAVE, TRUST HIM FOR WHAT YOU NEED" I am not saying things will not be hard, but I am saying here that is a powerful statement. I have never done without anything I need, and have way more than a lot of people. I, and I am sure all who read this have way more than we could ever need. It is time for all of us to stop and thank God for meeting the needs in our life. Yes, I love my stuff, as I call all my things I have decorated my home with, but none of that matters, and I could have money saved for this emergency if I had only listened to God. I want to thank God for always taking care of me, and ask him to forgive me for not being a good steward of the money he has blessed me with. I so believe in tithing, and David and I are good at that for a while, then if we miss church we do not ever make up for that money to God. Everything I have, everything I am, is because God loves me. I just do not need as much as I have, and I so realize that this morning. I hope all will take the time to look at your life, and when your out shopping remember emergencies that can come up, and if you need what you want to buy, or is it just something you want! Here is another lesson my God has brought to life, and I know he will take us through this time. God bless all, and remember to thank God for what you have, and trust God for what you need always!

One Wintry Morning!

Yesterday morning I woke up hurrying around to get ready to go pick Aubrie up for the day. I had dreaded venturing out into the cold, because it was 26 degrees. The windows were all iced over, and the cold would just cut through you like a knife. Toby went out started my car for me, and when I went out it was nice and warm just as my house had been. As I began my ride down the country road I always look along the sides of the road, because a deer can come running out at anytime. I have never hit one, which is a miracle in its self here in rural Mississippi. There is a lot of farm land here. I began to really look, and everything here was covered with frost. It sparkled like tinsel on a Christmas tree. The trees, the land all looked white, but with a silver glow about it. It looked like a wonderland, a beautiful shiny wonderland of winter. I gasped at the beauty, and also thought about what a awesome world God made. This world he made for us to enjoy can go from the colors of the rainbow in all the spring flowers to the shiny white glow of ice and snow on a wintry day!

Its Beginning To Look Like Christmas!

I have been decorating my house for four days. Laughing here! I have to do things in cycles, you know take my time. I can remember one year I took the tree all apart and started over, well guess what? It looked exactly the same the second time around. When I got my tree out this year, yes I use an artificial tree, the one with the lights on it had stopped lighting. I think one area of it was lite up,and the rest dark. I was told I could add lights, but the ones that did not work were driving me crazy just sitting there, so off I go to get another tree. I settled for a 7 ft. tree too Tara. It did not fit in front of the window where I had always put the slim tree, because this one is fat! So I moved lots of things and put it in the corner which is actually in the window too. I took my time, in fact it took me 5 hrs. to add 1200 lights, which I think most are around the tree trunk, because it looks dark on the outside to me. I have been collecting ornaments for over 30 years, and I will never throw any away. I take that back, I opened up my ornaments, and the New Orleans Saints ball I gave David many, many years ago was broke, so I did throw that away. Do you think it broke on its own out of embarrassment from a bad year of football? I bought this in New Orleans probably over 25 years ago, so I will not be replacing it anytime soon. I look at each ornament, and think about when I bought it, or when someone gave it to me. I love every minute of doing the tree. I try to add 2 or 3 new ones to my collection each year, so I am thankful I got a bigger tree, I was kinda afraid the other one was going to fall over from too many ornaments, balls, candy canes, and little jingle bells. I have over load when decorating the tree. The more I put on it, the more I want on it! I have not finished adding things, because if I can find a box of small white snowflakes, I am adding them too. The little star I had on the slim tree was way too small for the bigger tree, so off I go to look for the perfect tree topper. I am one of those people that when I see it, I want it and will not settle for anything less. I will tell you a story about that next time. Laughing here! I went to Lowe's, they had nothing that excited me for a tree topper. I decided to head to Dillard's, because in the past they have had some awesome decorations. I ask a young man to help me, because I knew I wanted an angel. He showed me many in boxes, but I saw the one I wanted, it was top of one of their trees, I think about a 9 foot one. He showed me a different color one just like the one up there, but no, I knew what I wanted. He walked around and around trying to find one in a box, but there was nothing. He then proceeded to ask another worker what to do. Well, I had already told him what to do. Go get a ladder and get me that angel! She basically told him the same thing, you know being a woman and all. He tryed again to say I think that is the only one we have, but I again insisted he get me that one. After just standing there looking at my perfect angel, he like many other men, decided this woman means this. So off he goes to get a ladder and fetch my angel. She is just perfect for the top of my tree, but I told him that from the beginning. When I figure out how to put pictures in this blog, I will show you how perfect she is. I handed him the other angel to replace the one I got, and he just smiled at me. You think he was flirting, or just ready to get rid of me? I guess you can figure out the rest of the story, I brought her home, and attempted to get on a ladder to place her in her rightful spot on top of my tree, but Toby quickly decided he would rather do it himself than take me to the ER. After moving a few ornaments around, and crying from a few memories of the years past, my tree is perfect for me, and after all isn't that all that matters? You know the saying, If Mommy ain't happy, ain't nobody!!!