Thoughtfullness!

I remember sitting and thinking about ways I could show my love for David when we first got married. Thinking, that is the key. Do we think before we speak, or act, or do we just react. David and have have been married for so long we know what the other is thinking most of the time. Do we always like what each other seems to be thinking? NO!!! God's word tell us in Psalm 139: 17 -18, " How precious also are your thoughts to me, How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them they would outnumber the sand." Love thinks, it is not a mindless feeling that is felt just through emotions. Woman tend to think more about things than men, that is just a fact. What can we as women do about it? For one we can not complain, but think about that your spouse is a man, and he needs help to be as thoughtful as we wish he would be. I know you are sitting there thinking why do I have to do more, why can't he just be like I want him to be? The most important reason is found in the Bible, God said, " It is not good for man to be alone, I will make him a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18. Yes we are different creations, we are made to complete the man. As we all know this can lead to great misunderstandings in our marriage. I know this for sure, because so many times over the years I have taken what David said wrong, or I have thought why did he not do something. Through this study David and I both will learn that love requires thoughtfulness. Yes men need to be thoughtful too. I have to say David knows me and sometimes he just does things or says things I have not had to say. That comes with years of living and loving each other. This day teaches me to think, take the time to really think about how I can better understand him, and show my love for him. What is an immediate need he has that I could meet? The dare for this day was to contact him sometime during the day, for no other reason than to ask how he is, and if there is anything I can do for him. I want to remember, and hope if you are reading this, marriage is not all about ME! I must think about how to show my spouse my love each day, not just when I choose to. Remember that selfishness is the opposite of love.

Are You Selfish?

I am continuing my study of the Love Dare book, which I have been doing daily, but had no time to write on my blog. My daughter-in-law was in the hospital but is home now doing great. This is the third day and it is all about selfishness. I tell all the young couples who are getting married to remember one thing, and that is if you put his needs, and wants, and if he puts your needs and wants first then no one will be left out. I realized reading this I do not do this as I should. God says in Romans 12:10," Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor." God teaches us in the Bible to care about others more than ourselves, but how many of us really do that? In a marriage this can be a very dangerous problem. Selfishness is the total opposite of loving one another. This day tells about you either make decisions out of love for your spouse, or love for yourself. How many of us have done something for our spouse wanting something in return, in fact the reason you did it was to get what you want? I am ashamed to admit I have. I will also say I know of times that I have put David's happiness above mine, and I thank God for him leading me to do that. Also I admit I have complained about things I do for him, which is not showing love in its true form. Ask yourself these questions: Do i truly want what's best for my husband or wife?, Do I want them to feel love by me?, Do I believe I have their best interests in mind?, and Do they see me as looking out for myself first? All of you reading this know a lot of these things I have taken word for word from the book Love Dare, but I feel that it is important for you to read them if you do not have the book yourself. I ask myself this question, what if God had been selfish and not send his son Jesus to die for me, and you? We would be lost in our sins forever, and in this study it tells us that almost every sinful action can be traced back to selfishness. Read in your Bible 1 Corinthians 13:5, and Philippians 2:3. I feel real joy is felt inside when we demonstrate real love, and there is no room for selfishness in our marriage. My dare for this day was to continue restraining from negative comments to David, and also to buy him something that says I am thinking of you. I choose to get up early, iron his clothes for work, and cook breakfast for him, which I do not do often enough. He is not a material person and this meant much more to him. I pray I continue to learn to be a better wife to him, I so want to show God's love in all I do.

Where Did Kindness Go!!

I first want to say I am talking about little acts of kindness, those things that I did for David when we first got married, and for some years, then slowly I just stopped. Ephesians 4:32 says " Be kind to one another, tender-hearted,forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has forgiven you." I can certainly say God has been patient with me, forgiving me of sins I repeated over and over. God has shown his love through kindness by forgiving me, and most of all by sending his son Jesus to die for my sins. Do you remember when you were dating your spouse or when you first got married, and you wanted to please him in everything you did? This book is showing me how I have become selfish and stopped doing these things for David. One thing I have had to open my eyes to is when I show kindness to David or really to anyone it is not about what I get in return. It is showing my love for them by being kind and loving them enough to do these little things. I used to have things ready for David in the mornings, his breakfast, a glass of coke which is what he drinks all the time. Now I lie in the bed wishing he would be quiet! I am not saying there is anything wrong with sleeping in, we all love to do that, but I know for me he is the one going out working long hours to make a living for us, and I can show him my love by getting up if not every morning, at least some mornings and have breakfast with him. We could talk about what his day may consist of, and pray together before he leaves. This is something I always saw my Mom do for Daddy, but I have become selfish, and want to just be lazy. What if David decided to just be lazy? The book tells us there are two cornerstones of love, Patience, and Kindness. Patience with my spouse avoids negative circumstances and kindness maximizes a positive circumstance. Kindness is broken down into four basic ingredients, gentleness, helpfullness, willingness, and initiative. First lets look at gentleness, how we treat our spouse. I have to ask myself am I being sensitive to David's needs? Am I being tender and loving to him? Not when I think of self first, wow this book is really showing me how selfish I am! Am I helping or do I sit back and do nothing because I am waiting for him to do his? This seems to be something I hear a lot from younger couples. I just know anytime something needs doing, housework, yardwork, whatever, I can not choose to sit and wait to see if he does anything, I have to show my love by being helpful, doing things out of love, not being selfish. Being willing is deciding to be agreeable. Not be stubborn, which as I see again this is all about not being selfish in our relationship. The last one is initiative, am I waiting for kindness or will I take the first step to offer that extra hug, to smile, to serve first, and forgive first? Wow, again this is about doing what I did when I wanted David, and when he was most important to me, it is about putting away self, and doing for the man I love, and has chosen me to be his wife. I have to remember that love in its truest form is not based on feelings, it is showing love expecting nothing in return, and being kind in all my words and actions to David. These verses in the Bible again show me and you how kindness is important. Proverbs 31:26, Luke 10, the entire chapter, and Proverbs 3: 3-4. My heart is filled with love and I want to thank God for being love. He sent his son to die for me, asking nothing in return except just to love. Jesus showed the ultimate love by taking my sins upon that cross and suffering, and dying. I just want to thank God that Jesus rose from that grave to give me eternal life in love. I sit here an smile when I think about love. As kids we never doubted , or I was very blessed to have parents that I never had to doubt their love for me. The years passed and I wanted to be loved by a man, to be his wife, have his children and grow old with him. God blessed me with I believe the most loving man in this world. David loves me. I pray that I will put away this selfishness and give David the love he deserves with kindness and patience. I hope others are blessed with this writing, that is my intent. I praise God for who he is, I praise Jesus for being my Lord, and Savior, I thank God for the Holy Spirit who guides and convicts me. I ask God to show me ways to be kind to David, and to all who I meet, and greet today. The dare for this day was to continue to say nothing negitive to my spouse, plus do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness for your wife or husband.

New Beginning For Any Marriage

We watched the movie Fireproof Sunday afternoon. A lot of people we know had already watched it, including several family members. My best friend in Texas told me her youngest son said well, Kirk Cameron did a good job of playing me in this movie. I wonder how many men and women across the United States who have seen this movie said the same thing about this husband and wife in the movie? He works as a fireman and saves all his money for a huge boat he wants. She has a new job in a hospital where a Doctor is giving her the attention she badly needs that her husband seems to never have time to give. I do not want to tell you the entire movie, but I do want to say they pass a lot of cruel words between each other. The book, Love Dare that is mentioned in the movie is available at Wal-Mart, and other places where books are sold. We have it and I am doing it first. We were going to do this together but decided to watch each other as I began it 2 days ago, and when I finish he will read it and take the dares given for each day. The first day is about patience. Love is shown in many ways, but our words seem to make the most difference. How we say them, and what we say. The Bible says in, James 1:19, Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Gods love is perfect for us, what better way to learn how to love each other than from the Master of Love, God himself. His instructions are clearly given to us in his word, the Bible. I could write out these verses, but I hope I can inspire you to get your Bible and look them up. Let me give you 3 for now: 1 Thessalonians 5:15,Proverbs 5:18,and Ephesians 4:2. The Bible tells us the words that come from us often reflect what is in our heart. Wow! That can be scary, right? The first day's dare was to say nothing negative to my spouse at all. It is better to hold my tongue than say something I will regret. That one I had no problem with, as for the most part we do not argue a lot, which I thank God for this blessing. I want to tell you more about my dare for today, but I do not want to get in a hurry. If any of you are going to follow me in this during the next 40 days, let me know, and I will add more about what the book says. David and I have been together so long that we have begun to take things for granted. I am so excited about what day 2 is teaching me that I want to tell, but I will save it for tomorrow. Just know kindness is next, and do I ever need to work on that. I can remember things I did for David in the first few years of marriage that I just seem to have stop doing. I thank God right now for convicting me of ways I do not show kindness to David and others. I hope some of you will take this journey with me, or go out and get the book. It does not matter how long you have been married there is always time and room in your marriage to let God lead you, and help us be better spouses. God bless each reader, and pray about doing this with me, or on your own.

March, Came In Like A Lion!!

I had forgotten the saying March comes in like a lion, until this morning. We got up to very cold temps, and strong winds with a little snow on the ground, and with snow still falling. It is suppose to be like that I think, Because the April showers will bring May flowers, right? Last week we had warm temps with highs in the upper 70's some days. You get all geared up in the South for Springtime, then "Bam", the cold hits again. I think I get colder each time this happens. I am looking forward to the Spring, with plans to plant lots of summer flowers, and a few new trees in my yard. Then summer will be here and to be honest I am not crazy about the hot, humid days of summer in Mississippi, but there will be lots of swimming and boating. I guess the only way to stay cool outside during those hot summer months is staying wet. I read an email the other day about a little boy who had been to Bible School and was happily skipping his way home taking in everything he could about nature. There was a man sitting on a bench and he asked the little boy way he was so happy. The little boy quickly replied I have been to Bible School learning so much about God. The man told the little boy he would give him a dime if he could find something with God in it. Well, the little boy replied sir," I will give you a dollar if you can find anything God is not in." What a wonderful way to see the world, the beauty of it, and our lives. If you know God, you know he created you, he created everything in this world. Wow, how amazing is his love for us! As Spring does come around look at each bloom on the trees, and flowers, each new birth of animals, and remember all of this is here out of God loves for us. I had someone tell me this week that the Bible is just a love story, and she is so right. A story of Gods love for all, a love that lead him to send his son Jesus to die for our sins on the cross. A love that raised him from the grave three days later so that we could have eternal life in Heaven with him for eternity. A love that never gives up on us, a love for us so strong that he never leaves us, never takes his eyes off us for a moment. I love being loved by God, my Heavenly Father, I love being loved by Jesus, my Lord and Savior, and I love being loved by the Holy Spirit, my guide and comforter. I just want to take time to praise God for everything, to thank him for everything, and to worship him in song, through telling others about him, and just sitting admiring his wonderful world he made me to live in. Thank you so much for everything in my life!!

A Special Day!!!!

Today would have been my Mommy's 86th birthday. Mommy went to be with the Lord when she was 64, in Oct. of that year. She is still missed as if she just left us yesterday. Mommy believed in living one day at a time, that was her motto, that was how she lived. She also lived depending on God for everything. I never saw my Mommy upset about much. She was a strong woman, in faith, and character. Very much a lady! So many things have happened over the years that I wish I could have called Mommy to talk about with her, get her advice, and guidance. I know now that the love she taught me for God, and how he loved me prepared me to begin learning to depend on him for everything. No, I have failed many, many times to depend totally on him. I have tried to work things out for myself, and followed advice of individuals who didn't give me the best of advice. I have made some really bad mistakes when I have taken my eyes off of Jesus. Mommy would have looked at me, scolded me, and reminded me to live each day, each moment, not to hurry life along. I remember when she was lying in that hospital bed with no strength at all. She had asked me to pull her up in the bed some. I could not move her, and she could not help me, so we both got tickled, yes we had a big laugh that day. I am smiling here, I can see her smile, and hear her laughing. I said Mommy you have to get stronger we need to go Christmas shopping next month, well, she did as always and told me to live one day at a time, stop planning things that may not happen. Mommy and I did not go shopping the next month, because she went home to Heaven three days later. She got her strength back, she has not hurt anymore, and lives where there is praising and worshiping Jesus everyday without interruption. I say Happy Birthday Mommy, you are spending your day with your creator, the one who made you who you were for me, and all our family. I miss you, but I would never want you to come back to this world and have to be sick again. Thank you Mommy for your love, your hard work, your patience with me, your instructions you left me, and most of all for living one day at a time. I pray if you have your Mommy today you will hug her tight, tell her thank you, and most of all, Live One Day At A Time, learning that the more you depend on God, the more dependable he becomes in your life. I love you God, my Father, I love you Jesus, my Lord and Savior, I love you Holy Spirit, my comforter and guide. Wow, what a wonderful God we serve!!!!

Another One Of Those Days!!!

I have had another one of those days when I have been in pain all day. I have to fight so hard to not get angry when I hurt like this. I just know this Jesus never leaves me nor forsakes me, his word tells me that. I am standing on his promises, and to be honest it is hard to do anything when you hurt like this. I will read my Bible and the will let my God take care of me, and lead me. I hate when I feel like my day was just wasted. I have not gotten anything done. I mean literally nothing. I could not sleep and was up at 4 am, then went to bed later and slept till noon. That is something I do not do very often. When I have a full blown attack of this mess(fibro)and I know that is what is happening, I have no energy to move. Sitting seems to make me hurt worse, but I have no desire, or anything to move. This is when you want to just give up. I wanted to just disappear today, I said for a month or two. Where would I go? What would I do with myself? I love my sweet family so very much. I would be miserable without them, but sometimes you just want to go where you do not have to talk to anyone, or see them. I need my Lord to give me strength to have a better day tomorrow, I have things to do, that I can not put off. My prayer and plead is to sleep tonight, get up early and get er done!!! Laughing here, that made me smile for the first time today. Thank you God for loving me, and for helping my mind and heart to work together here knowing he is with me and this will pass. I love you Lord!