What Are My Duties????

This will sound like I am on a pity party again, but I am trying to figure my place out I guess. I do not like negative thoughts, but I am having some again. I work around my house, get it all together, then poof it is a mess again. I know as a Mother it was my place to take care of my family, and I loved every minute of doing that when my children were small, and I love it when my Grandchildren are here also. I have always cooked at least one big meal a day for David, unless I have really felt bad. The thing that gets me lately is this, and you know that I have one of my sons back home with us for a little while, but David and Toby look at me like what are we going to eat for every meal except breakfast, and on weekends that too. Am I responsible for them even though they are adults now? I sit here and am bothered by how 2 adult men can just leave paper lying around, or their clothes. Am I suppose to pick up after them like children? I am going out of town next week to see my very best friend, and I have actually worried about them. Toby told me he would get himself something to eat on the way home, he doesn't mind fast food, but David, he hates it. I am praying I can let go of this and enjoy my time with Cheryl, because I know me I will wonder if David is eating right, and if he is OK. I feel like sometimes I do way more than I should, and at times I feel like I am lazy, and do not do enough. Am I searching for my place at this age in my life? I know I am not like my Mother's generation, all they wanted to do was take complete care of their spouse, and their home. Well I like my home to be clean, and organized, but I feel like I can't keep it together by myself anymore. I do not have the staying power my Mother had, why is that? I want to have lazy days, but then I have guilt over David out working so hard for us to make a living. I worked for 22 years, every day keeping sometimes up to 12 kids and kept my home very clean, what happened to me? Is age actually catching up to me at 55 years old? or am I just lazy? I would read all day in the Bible or some Christian book if I could, but then yesterday I got upset because I had to do things outside that would not get done if I did not do them. That is when I want to drawn a line in the sand, and say OK guys, what are your duties, and what are mine? Why do I feel this way? Why do I wonder what my place is in life right now? I want to be the sweet little old Grandmother who always has something cooked for anyone, anytime they stop by, but I am spending most of my time either feeling sorry for myself that I have so much to do, or picking up after everyone. Half of my time is spent cooking, and the other washing dishes. I can sweep the floor and mop, have my house all clean, and then David will bring that 70 lb dog through here that is covered with red sand, and I am like grrrrr, but you know as many times as I have complained or ask him to sweep up after him, he still does it, and does not sweep. So again I ask, what are my duties, and where is my place? I could complain for hours, so many things that Toby doesn't do, and I just do not understand. No matter how much I ask, or even complain about he just ignores me. So do I give up, live in a mess, or do I work even harder to keep my home like I once loved? Sometimes I think just forget it, no one comes here but my family anyway, and they are the ones who made the mess to start with. Now I want to say this, I can make a big mess myself, but I do clean up after myself, I do not ask anyone to do it. OK, I have said how I feel, but what do I do? I hate to ask God to help me here, when there are lost people who would die and go to hell without him, and there are sick people suffering. I just know our Lord says bring all your burdens to him, and I need to seek guidance in this matter too. When I have talked to my Mother-in-Law she tells me to sit them down and tell them they have to pick up after themselves, but that I tried it does not work with my family. So here I sit wondering if when I get back from my trip will my family appreciate me anymore, or will they continue to act as if I am supposed to do everything around here. Tell me Lord Jesus, what is my place, and what are my responsibilities?