Just Smiling!!!

I am so thankful to God to be feeling better than I did yesterday morning. I have talked several times in my writings about the fact that I have Fibro. I had worked in my yard Saturday for a couple of hours, and I paid the price. My mind tells me what I want to do, and when you have Fibro you tend to push yourself to do things. If I did what my Dr. says I should do, I would hire a housekeeper to clean my house, a gardener to do all the yard work, and maybe even have a limo to stretch out in when I travel, as he says I should never ride over a couple of hours in my car without getting out and walking for 15 minutes. I guess I would have to hire a pool guy too, if I had a pool, because he wants me in water everyday for exercise. If a Dr. says you need this, will your insurance cover the cost? OK, trying to be funny here!!! Anyway back to giving in to the pain some days, and that is what I did yesterday. Pain can rob you of your day, and the blessings God had for you. When I read the devotion this morning,http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/, I was reminded that God knows the number of hairs on my head, wow, he loves me so much, and is there for me no matter what. Instead of complaining about the things that normally bring me pleasure, I should talk to my Father. He is able to lift me up, and guide me through the pain, bringing me back to see my blessed life with my wonderful family. I will just say, I thank God my family is not sitting there thinking of my faults. Thank you God for the friends I have, the love and encouragement I read from the devotion site you brought me to, and for your amazing love. I am smiling here, because I already feel today is going to be a good day, because God has taken all negative thoughts away. Remember to smile, it may be the only sunshine someone in your pathway might see today!!

What Are My Duties????

This will sound like I am on a pity party again, but I am trying to figure my place out I guess. I do not like negative thoughts, but I am having some again. I work around my house, get it all together, then poof it is a mess again. I know as a Mother it was my place to take care of my family, and I loved every minute of doing that when my children were small, and I love it when my Grandchildren are here also. I have always cooked at least one big meal a day for David, unless I have really felt bad. The thing that gets me lately is this, and you know that I have one of my sons back home with us for a little while, but David and Toby look at me like what are we going to eat for every meal except breakfast, and on weekends that too. Am I responsible for them even though they are adults now? I sit here and am bothered by how 2 adult men can just leave paper lying around, or their clothes. Am I suppose to pick up after them like children? I am going out of town next week to see my very best friend, and I have actually worried about them. Toby told me he would get himself something to eat on the way home, he doesn't mind fast food, but David, he hates it. I am praying I can let go of this and enjoy my time with Cheryl, because I know me I will wonder if David is eating right, and if he is OK. I feel like sometimes I do way more than I should, and at times I feel like I am lazy, and do not do enough. Am I searching for my place at this age in my life? I know I am not like my Mother's generation, all they wanted to do was take complete care of their spouse, and their home. Well I like my home to be clean, and organized, but I feel like I can't keep it together by myself anymore. I do not have the staying power my Mother had, why is that? I want to have lazy days, but then I have guilt over David out working so hard for us to make a living. I worked for 22 years, every day keeping sometimes up to 12 kids and kept my home very clean, what happened to me? Is age actually catching up to me at 55 years old? or am I just lazy? I would read all day in the Bible or some Christian book if I could, but then yesterday I got upset because I had to do things outside that would not get done if I did not do them. That is when I want to drawn a line in the sand, and say OK guys, what are your duties, and what are mine? Why do I feel this way? Why do I wonder what my place is in life right now? I want to be the sweet little old Grandmother who always has something cooked for anyone, anytime they stop by, but I am spending most of my time either feeling sorry for myself that I have so much to do, or picking up after everyone. Half of my time is spent cooking, and the other washing dishes. I can sweep the floor and mop, have my house all clean, and then David will bring that 70 lb dog through here that is covered with red sand, and I am like grrrrr, but you know as many times as I have complained or ask him to sweep up after him, he still does it, and does not sweep. So again I ask, what are my duties, and where is my place? I could complain for hours, so many things that Toby doesn't do, and I just do not understand. No matter how much I ask, or even complain about he just ignores me. So do I give up, live in a mess, or do I work even harder to keep my home like I once loved? Sometimes I think just forget it, no one comes here but my family anyway, and they are the ones who made the mess to start with. Now I want to say this, I can make a big mess myself, but I do clean up after myself, I do not ask anyone to do it. OK, I have said how I feel, but what do I do? I hate to ask God to help me here, when there are lost people who would die and go to hell without him, and there are sick people suffering. I just know our Lord says bring all your burdens to him, and I need to seek guidance in this matter too. When I have talked to my Mother-in-Law she tells me to sit them down and tell them they have to pick up after themselves, but that I tried it does not work with my family. So here I sit wondering if when I get back from my trip will my family appreciate me anymore, or will they continue to act as if I am supposed to do everything around here. Tell me Lord Jesus, what is my place, and what are my responsibilities?

Just Thoughts!!

I had so many things I wanted to write today, that I decided to add another entry. The past couple of months have been interesting in our family. My oldest son’s wife got sick, and has spent a couple of weeks in the hospital, but thanks to God she is much better. Then last week their h0me was burglarized in the daytime. We are thankful to God that Chere has not come home during the day a few times like she usually does. She could have walked in on the robbers, and been hurt. It was frightening to my grandchildren, and also to Chere when she first find her home totally a mess. My son was due home from working offshore the next day. The things are replaceable for the most part, but Scotty had my Daddy’s guns, and they had great sentimental value to him. He loved his Papaw very much, and Daddy had been the one to teach him to shot a gun, and to hunt. Other things were taken, but even to his wife the guns made everyone the saddest. Daddy had guns that are not made anymore, but I know my Daddy he would just be thankful no one was hurt. It has made all of us more aware of our surroundings, plus lots of other homes have been robbed in our area too. I have a very hard time understanding what would make a person want to go in someone’s home and take things that do not belong to them. I remember once when I was young I took a piece of bubble gum from the grocery store, and Mommy took me back to the store, made me apologize to the owner and pay for the gum. Then I was sitting here thinking, how many of us have taken little things from places we worked, or from hotels? I know I have, and I am very ashamed to admit it. I ask Jesus to forgive me for stealing, and you know it is just like the people who robbed Scotty’ house, I took something that did not belong to me. We, and I mean people, have a way of trying to justify our sins at times. You know how we would say it was just a little white lie. What is a white lie? I have no idea where the saying came from, but I know in God’s eyes a lie is a lie, and that is a sin against our Lord Jesus. How many lies have we told thinking well what is the harm, it was a little one? Wow, I sit here shaking my head as I do so many times when I am writing, thinking honesty is so important to me, but I have been guilty of telling those little white lies. I feel ashamed here too. Thank you God for sending your son Jesus to die for my sins, because I know if I got what I deserve I would burn in hell. Just writing the word hell and thinking about if I had to pay for my sins, scares me. I am just so thankful that Jesus loved me enough to do that, and that I accepted him as my Lord and Savior. I can not write here without thinking about Jesus. I know I have mentioned the book, The Shack, before, but if you have not read it, please do so, then you will understand when I say that there was a time in my life when I was in "the shack". My life was a dirty, ugly mess, but when Jesus came into my life, he cleaned my shack up, made something beautiful out of me, blessed me so beyond anything I could have thought about during that time. I smile thinking of Jesus, thinking of his protection of me during the time my shack was so dirty. Lord I just want to please you with my life! My life story might help someone else who is sitting in a dirty, messed up life see that Jesus loves them too. Maybe someday I will get the courage to write things down. I just know I was one of those blessed girls whose parents raised her right, and as the Bible says, train a child up the right way, and they will return to God, and this is is me not quoting the scripture but saying it the way I remember. Ok, I was talking about how busy and interesting our life has been, but when I talk about any day of my life, Jesus has done something wonderful in that day. My desire is to see people come to know Jesus as their personal Savior, to have the peace he has given me, and to spend eternity in Heaven praising our Lord. I need to get to bed, I have 2 of my Grand-daughters here tonight, and they will want as my 2 year old says, "Mamaw grits" early in the morning. God bless all of you, and take time to enjoy the day, it is a gift from God.

What Are Your Weaknesses???

I wish I knew more about where Scriptures are in the Bible, and I also know the more I study God's word, and I mean really study it, not just read, I will remember where certain scriptures are. But I am thankful that when God brings a scripture to mind, I know what he is saying to me. In God's word he tells us that the devil is like a lion, seeking us, our weakness, to cause us to take our eyes off Jesus, and to destroy us, meaning our fellowship with Jesus and also our testimony for him. If he can cause us to sin against God, then the devil has won that battle. As I sit here thinking about something that happened yesterday I begin to see other weaknesses in my Christian walk. I see things I need to give to my Lord and remember that what is in me is stronger than the temptations in this world. I allowed the devil to defeat me yesterday, and it put me on my knees asking Jesus to forgive me. I know my Lord has forgiven me, but when I sin my mind wants to remind me how weak I am. I have to stay in his word, allow God to speak to me, listen for his guidance, and not give into temptation. You know I heard God tell me this is wrong, and not just once but over and over, why do I give in to my weakness? I believe it is because for just a split second I took my eyes off my Lord. I sit here shaking my head, my heart is heavy because that is what sin does to a Christian, makes you totally uncomfortable with yourself. It always makes me feel a little afraid. God is reminding me that this feeling of shame is the Holy Spirit convicting me. Lord I am sorry for sinning against you. Thank you for your love for me, and for the mercy and grace you give me. I do not want my personal relationship with you to be harmed. For years I wanted to go to Heaven, thank Jesus for my salvation, but most of all I thought of seeing my Mommy, and then my Daddy, but in the last, I would say 8 months, my relationship with my Jesus has grown. I can honestly say, when I get to Heaven I want to see my Jesus. How could someone love me so much to carry all my horrible sins, and suffer and die for them, when he had done nothing wrong? Think about his amazing love for us, his suffering to pay for the sins that we could never pay for, and the forgiveness he gives us. That is why I want to live for him. I want to resist the weaknesses in my life. I want to remember that the devil wants to seek me out, and wants to destroy me, but that greater is he, my Lord Jesus, who lives inside me, that him, who lives in this world. Please remember this place, earth, is a sinful place. A place where sin is everywhere. We must stand firm on God's promises, and avoid the weaknesses in this world, the things that cause us to sin. I promise my Lord that I will avoid totally what caused me to sin against him yesterday. Lord my prayer this morning is for Christians to stand against the sin in this world we live in, and look to the creator of this world, and focus on its beauty, not what man has done to it to corrupt this place. I ask you to confict me of all my weaknesses that I might live victoriously for you. I love you God, my Father, I love you Jesus, my Lord and Savior, I love you Holy Spirit, my comforter, and guide. I pray God's blessings upon all who read this, and stand against temptations, your day will be as beautiful as the Lord has planned.

Just Catching Up!

It has been awhile since I have written anything here. My mind is racing with so much to say. It is so beautiful here, with the spring flowers beginning to really bloom, and after the rains, which has the river about to flood, everything is green here. You know that vibrant green that comes when the rain washes all the pollen away. The other morning I was going to pick up Aubrie and I saw a hawk flying low in an open field. He was just barely above the grass, looking I am sure for a rabbit or mouse for breakfast. God's creation is so amazing just to watch. Every afternoon right before sunset you can travel down the highway and see baby deer grazing on the side, knowing that their Moms are in the woods nearby watching them carefully. Spring to me is just a new beginning for everything. As a Christian I see Easter as a new beginning , without the sacrifice that Jesus gave on that cross, I would be lost and heading straight to hell, but my Jesus conquered the grave and lives forever in Heaven which I will do someday. This past weekend I had the opportunity to travel with some friends to the Memphis area to see the Gaither vocal band. When Micheal English sang, " I Bowed on my Knees and Cryed Holy", all I could think of was someday I will get to praise my Lord on my knees in his presence. The man who played the piano was blind, and has been since birth, but he played that instrument like I have never heard before. He has been playing since he was 3 years old. He has a God given talent. It made me stop and think how many of us do not receive our talent from God because we do not allow him to give it to us? I had a wonderful worship experience that night with some great Christian friends. While in Memphis I also had the chance to tour the Ronald McDonald House that helps the kids and families who are at St. Jude's Hospital. I was both blessed and heartbroken to see the children facing cancer there. There are many people in the USA who care. This certainly was evident from seeing this wonderful place that gives these families a place to stay while their child is fighting cancer. The place has a huge budget, I mean huge, each year and people give, and give to keep it operating. God has blessed this ministry, and I pray it will continue. We spend the night with a friend that I had not seen in a long time. She was the most amazing hostess. There was a tray on my bed with fresh flowers, chocolate covered strawberries, sugared pecans, and bottled water waiting for me. I have never been that comfortable in the best hotels. I have also read 2 great books in the past week, both written by Karen Kingsbury. I am reading another of her books now. If you are in your local Wal-mart check out her books, This Side Of Heaven, and Between Sundays. I promise you will receive a blessings from both. She is the best Christian author I have ever read. I am enjoying my life. God is good, no matter the storms we face, and I promise you there are storms in our home too. I want to encourage you to keep your eyes on the prize, and that is eternal life with God in Heaven. Read God's word, and spend time with our Lord in prayer. Having a personal relationship with Jesus is what makes my life so wonderful. God bless all who read!

Update on Love Dare!!

I had wanted to continue the Love Dare book, but David is not too interested. I know we are blessed with a really good marriage, and we have no doubt that we love each other very much. There was a time when I felt very alone, when he was working long hrs., and not paying me any attention when he came home. He is still working long hrs., but I have grown in my relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and I never feel alone. When I allowed God to work in me, and I began to stay in his word, having prayer time, I realized how blessed I am in my marriage and everything else in my life. This morning as I read the devotion I get everyday from a group online, I decided to share it with you. It goes right along with the Love Dare book, and how we should treat our spouse. Remember this, Your husband is also a gift from God. When you are totally devoted to God, your marriage is easier to focus on, realizing you must totally devote yourself to your marriage. This next part is copied from the devotional site, I pray you will read and think about it. Venting
19 Mar 2009"A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back." Proverbs 29:11 (NKJV)Yesterday, I was just mindlessly looking out the window of an airport watching a few seagulls dart about overhead while airline workers were busy loading bags. Nothing about the scene outside the airport window spoke of danger. But then suddenly I remembered the flight from New York just a few weeks ago that was brought down by a few geese. That seagull that faded into the background just moments before became a point of extreme interest to me. What if?It's amazing if you stop to think about it that a huge airplane could be brought down by just a few birds. Birds. Who would have thought? It makes me think about other seemingly small things that can cause great destruction as well … especially when it comes to my marriage.Words vented in frustration can seem so small.Slightly disrespectful attitudes can seem so small.Complaining about lack of finances can seem so small.Brushing off his desires can seem so small.Making mental lists of things you wish were different about him can seem so small.But each one of these seemingly small things can so easily and tragically wedge itself into the core of a marriage and send it screaming toward destruction. Entire families have been ripped apart by things that once seemed so small.Listen to the heartbreak in this note that was anonymously posted on my blog the other day:"Girls...I know this seems small...but, it's really not. Take it from someone who has blown it more times in marriage than not. Now I have blown it enough to make myself a single mom. It's too late for me. But, it's not for you. Please be aware of the little things. I wouldn't have you join me for anything in the world. Be on your guard and protect your marriage." -Anonymous I am challenged by this. I can't just mindlessly assume that my marriage is coasting along okay and that little problems can't topple even the most seemingly stable of legacies. I can't get complacent. I can't get prideful. I can't get lazy. I can't take the gift of my marriage for granted.I have a great marriage but sometimes I slip into automatic and stop getting as intentional as I should about investing richly and deeply into our relationship. So, I've decided to declare this my get intentional week. Today I'll focus on my words. I'm praying for God to interrupt my mouth at every turn today. I am going to hold my tongue against saying anything careless. I am going to intentionally use my words as gifts to my husband today and nothing else.Not that one day of doing this can protect my marriage forever - but it sure is a good start. Care to join me? Oh you know there will be challenges ahead sweet sister, but I'm up for it. What about you?Dear Lord, help me to realize that with each word I speak, I am making the choice to bless or to curse. Please help me to speak words that are pleasing to You - even when my emotions run high and my feelings beg me to betray this commitment. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Are You Rude???

Love, genuine love minds its manners? Today is about being rude, and nothing irritates me more than a rude person. Have I ever been rude, yes I have, and this day stepped on my toes as they say big time. The good thing is I am usually not rude to strangers, or other family members, but I have been rude to David at times. Of all people I should not be rude to it's him, I love him, and I need to have self control and behave in a way that shows him my love, and make him want to spend time with me. Do you like to be with rude people? I sure don't and David is not a rude person to me often. We both have been rude at times, you know the bad day, and take it out on the one you can. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 25:24,"Better to live on a corner of a roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." Does that sound like you? In Psalm 112:5,"It is well with the man who is gracious." The study tells us there are 2 main reasons people are rude, ignorance, and selfishness. There is that word again, selfishness. If as women we expect our husbands to stop doing the things we consider rude, or that bother us, we must first stop being rude and doing things that bother him. Show love, real love, by thinking about what we do, or say. Good etiquette is important in a marriage. Follow these three guides from God's word, Guard the Golden Rule-Treat your spouse the same way you want to be treated, read Luke 6:31. No Double Standards-Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and c0-workers, and Honor Requests-Consider what your husband or wife already asked you to do or not do. If in doubt ask again in a pleasant way. The dare for this day is ask your spouse to tell you 3 things that irritate or cause them to be uncomfortable with you, and you must not defend yourself, just listen. That is sometimes the hardest thing to do, that is to just listen. I have that problem, I admit it. I am praying that I will be quiet and listen to not only David, but to God. If you know you are rude to your spouse, make the changes, if not your marriage relationship could suffer, and love needs not suffer.